9201 Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90069
(310) 278-2060
Chef: David
Score: 34/100
we're living in a new world, hibachinistas.
gone are the days when hibachi meals were assumed to be for special occasions. where benihana -- whether they'd admit it or not -- saw themselves on as festive of footing as, say, medieval times. when shock came over the host's face when you responded to his special-event inquiry with a shrug: "just...tuesday night dinner."
i'm not sure when it happened. i'm not even sure how it happened. but i've seen the results of the turned tied firsthand.
no longer do diners see the +/-$40 price tag and think, "it's worth it for a special occasion." instead they seem to think, "that's about right for a nice and ample meal like this. that's a tuesday dinner price."
and once people accept benihana as just a meal -- once the birthday party stigma disappears -- what happens next?
well, the next step's just mindblowing.
it started, as such things do, with a visionary. world renowned chef nobu matsuhisa asked: in a universe where teppan meals are deemed appropriate for a run of the mill night out, is the world ready for an upper class hibachi experience at an upper class price? and could he provide it without compromising his michelin star reputation?
he had to find an audience accepting enough to not judge him harshly on concept alone -- a location where diners are willing and eager to spend money for unique dining experiences, but aren't put off by theatrics.
and you know where that is: vegas, baby.
so nobu installed some teppan tables. and sure enough, diners ate them up.
and once after almost a half-decade had passed and the concept of three-digit price tag hibachi was proved feasible, the country's other neon lit street took notice.
and decided to imitate.
so were born roku's teppan tables on sunset boulevard.
roku has been open for a few months, just across from soho house and a few blocks down from the old tower records building. it used to be one of a few sushi roku outposts, but closed a little bit ago to install teppan tables in a back room and rebrand themselves with a more general moniker.
the teppan room has somewhere around eight tables -- i didn't bother counting. upon entering, we were immediately struck by how different the vibe here is than teppan-dedicated restaurants. there's no mistaking: you're on sunset blvd. and the price tag and meal itself only reinforced this as the night went on.
so we strapped in for our first "premium" hibachi experience. and in grand hollywood tradition, what we saw wasn't necessarily what we got.
let's start with the menu.
interesting choices, sure, but as any experienced hibachi goer knows: on the grill, shellfish all tastes like shellfish, reds all taste like reds, and chicken tastes like chicken.
$120 for 5oz of a-5 wagyu? come on.
after a bit of waiting and a request to order, our waitress came over with a mandated sort of speech about what we were to expect, and a dessert-cart like presentation of the mains options:
and finally, after that, the soup.
soup - 4/10
a traditional onion soup in appearance turned out to be something completely different: a mushroom consume. it came out of the kitchen blisteringly hot, and without warning of it being something unexpected. it had all the same sediment of your traditional onion -- even the onion itself -- but the umami of the traditional chicken broth was replaced with an under-salted mushroom flavor.
not my favorite -- and i love mushroom.
salad - 6/10
a solid miso ginger dressing on top of a bed of shredded kale. a few edible flowers were thrown in for color, but really a very bland bed of greens. one interesting twist: dehydrated mushroom "croutons" -- two per salad -- that really did have a toasted crouton-like crunch. still: a cherry tomato would have been nice.
sauces - 5/10
three: ginger, hot mustard, and chimichurri -- something i've never seen at a hibachi restaurant. and all poured delicately or spooned -- no ladles.
the ginger was notably sweet, and not in a good way. the mustard was great. and the chimichurri was good, but didn't really have an appropriate place in the meal. a creative but unnecessary addition.
fried rice - 4/10
the meal came with a choice of steamed, chicken fried, or veggie fried rice -- at no additional charge.
we all obviously opted for chicken fried. and it was fine. it was your typical teppan fried rice, with the addition of asparagus. but like the chimichurri, the asparagus is better in theory than in practice, adding nothing at all to the flavor or texture of the dish.
but the kicker: no forks unless specially requested.
now, let's not kid ourselves: teppanyaki is not a japanese meal. it was invented in america, and is primarily cooked and served in america. so to deny us forks...who are you fooling?
vegetables - 3/10
this would have been higher (only a 4, though) had i not observed something that i'll get to at the end here.
brussels sprouts, carrot, broccoli, and cauliflower, all seasoned very well with salt and a lot of pepper. it was perhaps a tad over salted, but really quite good. and unlike the above-mentioned additions, the brussels sprouts were a nice change of pace.
but notice something missing?
that's right: no onion.
but how do they volcano? i wondered that, too.
and the answer: for us, they didn't.
but for the table next to us with two kids? a double decker hourglass volcano!
so, wait -- did they get onion with their veggies?
no.
they threw away the onion after the volcano.
let me repeat that: they discarded the volcano onion, and still served the meal onionless.
disgusting.
appetizer shrimp - 4/10
no toss, and nothing special. a bit over salted. and with that too-sweet ginger, no good way to cut the salt.
(our waitress told us twice of a "fun fact" she knows: the appetizer shrimp is good in the mustard! for the record: this is neither a fact, nor an opinion i agree with.)
main course (prawns) - 4/10
anyone who's ever had a birthday at benihana has learned to avoid the lobster. you think: "oh, it's a celebration! i'll get the fanciest thing on the menu!" only to discover that all shellfish just has a hibachi-plus-shellfish flavor when cooked on the grill, and if anything, the thickness means it's less evenly cooked than the shrimp, but still tastes the same -- and at a much higher price point.
the prawns are the same: less evenly cooked shrimp. tender and as well cooked as can be, but still: smaller is better for hibachi-cooked shellfish.
not too large of a portion, either.
dessert noodles - 0/10
ABSENT. inexcusable.
show - 2/10
i don't tell people i'm the guy from hibachi review. i know my reputation proceeds me, and i don't want the meal to be influenced by them trying to impress me.
but this time, one of my dining companions let them know who i was.
and still: this is the show we got? three adults, clearly engaged, got a failed lemon-on-fork toss, a poor egg cracking, and...well...nothing else.
the table beside us (with the two kids) got a show-only volcano, a few laser pointers, a fake-squirt-ketchup, fire sticks (which were dangerously dropped twice), and dance moves that bordered on racially insensitive.
i'm not sure which is better.
potpourri - 2/10
my first water refill took a while, but subsequent water pours were quick.
we had a nice sake flight, but not nice enough for the price.
desserts were on point, though.
still: i don't like being talked down to. i don't like having to wait to order so i can be told about the meal i'm about to have as though i don't review this type of meal professionally. i don't like being told which sauce to use, or that some of your chefs trained in japan, or that forks have to be requested. i don't like watching onions go to waste.
and i don't like paying over $220 for a dinner for two that is inferior to a normal hibachi meal, but smothered in pretense.
nobu's premium teppan experience comes in at around double the price of roku. but supposedly it offers something different: a multi-course meal with its own nobu twists. teppan in spirit, but nobu in practice.
the roku experience is dressed up benihana: an adultified version of a theme park. but adultified in a way that takes away from the fun -- and flavors -- without adding to anything other than the price tag.
there's a reason downtown disney closed. why try to make something adult when the "kid" version is clearly already the best possible iteration, no matter the age of the audience?
